Plagiarism Piece Parodied

I received an e-mail today from a friend regarding my blog. It stated that my blog "sucked" when it was serious. It would "suck, though suck less" if I tried to be funny instead. Now, bon ami, seeing as you are the one person in this world I would consider an authority on the principles of suck, I will redo yesterdays post.

I am not: A real doctor, but I play one on TV

I love: Getting coloring books for Christmas

I hate: The taste of the crayons that come with them

I hope: This rash goes away

I crave: The smell of Cheerios

I regret: Trying to play with the wasps

I cry: Whenever someone mentions "Eskimos"

I care: Enough to give you a kidney

I always: Lift the seat

I long: For those peaceful, worry-free, Reagan years

I feel alone: When I'm by myself

I listen: To Celine Dion when nobody's around

I hide: When the Witness's come calling

I drive: A Titleist

I sing: Strictly for your amusement

I dance: Like Fred Astaire..........On mushrooms

I write: Whatever the aliens tell me to

I breathe: So there will be less for you

I play: Special games with my plants

I miss: Laughing until whatever I'm drinking shoots out my nose

I search: For the last thing on the Internet

I learn: Right after I could have used what I learn

I feel: That nothing good can come from"Military Aid"

I know: How they get the Caramilk into the bar

I say: Things I am thinking, out loud (Even when I shouldn't)

I succeed: At my whole alphabet, from A to R

I fail: To see the importance of reality TV

I dream: Let's just say......Vividly LOL

I wonder: Whatever happened to "Culture Club"?

I want: To live in a world without mullets

I worry: When I use a public restroom

I wish: I could lick my eyebrows

I have: Every intention of finishing this stupid list

I give: Bad advice to those who deserve it

I fight: The voices in my head every day

I wait: At the airport for my ship to come in

That's it, that's all, that's everything. If you don't like it, remember, you asked for it, amigo. Any other feedback is welcome. Even the "suck" ones LOL.

See you when I see you.
Baron